If an oxygen mask drops in front of you on an airplane, the first rule is to put on your own oxygen mask before you assist anyone else.
It’s not uncommon to hear a caregiver say, “I need to take better care of myself, but there are just too many things to do, and if I don’t do them, no one else will.”
But as a caregiver, you also must remember to ask, “Who will take care of everything when I’m no longer able to do so because I didn’t look after myself?”
If an oxygen mask drops in front of you on an airplane, the first rule is to put on your own oxygen mask before you assist anyone else. Caring for yourself is just as important as putting on the oxygen mask first. You can’t help others when you don’t take care of yourself.
Caring for yourself means managing priorities. Imagine a fountain with 3 bowls. At the top is a small bowl that fills and then spills over into the next biggest bowl below. This second bowl in turn overflows to an even larger bowl below that one. Where does the water come from to fill the small bowl? What happens when the small bowl runs empty? If it stops flowing, the lower bowls cannot be filled.
As a caregiver, imagine you are the top bowl. You can spend more time on those around you than on yourself, but you still must refill and rejuvenate yourself to keep going. The question is, “What priorities in my life fill me up?” This isn’t being selfish; it is being a good caregiver.
If you cannot identify an activity that rejuvenates you and fits into your routine, you risk burnout or worse.
What is that activity for you? Maybe it’s a quiet or spiritual moment at the start or end of the day. Perhaps it’s a small group, in-person or virtual, for people with similar struggles, challenges, hopes, and dreams, providing a sense of community. It could be a trusted friend who offers support and encouragement when needed. It might be an exercise routine or an activity that switches your brain into a different thought pattern.
Whatever strategy you choose, it should accomplish two things for you.
1. It should lighten those feelings that are overwhelming.
2. It should provide you with hope and peace that can flow from you to those bowls you need to fill.
Being the best caregiver you can be means giving yourself permission to fill your bowl first.
If you find that self-care is not helping you, reach out for help. If you cannot locate the care you need then SAMHSA’s National Helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders. 1-800-662-HELP (4357)
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